#esp bc i wanted to read the spoilers so bad when they warned me it was a spoiler

[number1abbasupporter]

it’s happening the ppl r already trying to hit me with spoilers of the mha manga chapters

[munizfr]

Mainly a Ratchet Character Study but also: Parallel between the Ineffable Husbands and Transformers Dratchet (mostly IDW)

Obligatory Spoiler Warning: just don't read unless you've finished or heard about the last 15 mins of Good Omens S2E6 bc the spoilers (yes, the same moment you keep seeing everywhere) are there but honestly it's not descriptive enough imho.

Short ver. is at the bottom since this is pretty lengthy <3

Ratchet Character Study

The end of Good Omens S2E6 reminded me of Ratchet and Drift/Deadlock from Transformers for some reason. I think it's bc I've accepted the fanon idea (a lot of what's below is fanon/HCs, some canon to it though, but reader discretion and all that) of Deadlock likely offering Ratchet the chance to run away during the war (perhaps after realizing Megatron was starting to lose it and the Con cause was not the same one he initially fought for/corruption, conquering, domination, lunacy, etc.) with the promise of *them* and security with Ratchet no longer having to deal with the stresses that being the Autobot CMO carried and the damage that no doubt did to Ratchet's psyche and over-well being over the millennia. Esp. since Ratchet was so idealistic and bright before the war, and while still opinionated and fierce, was a youthful "party animal" with plenty of optimism, determined to do anything he could to see his hopes of a peaceful Cybertronian society through.

All Ratchet seems to want is the best for his planet, the best for other mecha, hence why I've always believed that Ratchet is a "people person" (further backed up by his past as the "party ambulance" ;D). He just has all his walls up 24/7 (sarcasm/sardonicism, gruffness, anger, etc.) to protect this soft, emotional part of himself, similar to how he keeps his walls up so that he can compartmentalize and perform his job efficiently as CMO even when surrounded by tragedy. He's a "people person" with a job that revolves around death. That shit definitely took a toll, but I don't believe it ever broke him necessarily. And Drift/Deadlock, so afraid of the war actually breaking Ratchet, wanted to do everything in his power to protect him from the war. The possibility of Deadlock presenting this offer, to me, sounds absolutely plausible.

When offered the chance to "run away", of course Ratchet declines, stating he knows his place and that is wherever he can decidedly do the most good and help the most mecha. Even though he'd love nothing more than to be free from the pressure and, most importantly, be with Drift/Deadlock instead of sneaking around throughout the war and having their relationship be so ethically complex. Ratchet understanding why Drift did what he did in becoming a 'Con and everything else, understanding that even though Deadlock went against Ratchet's code of morals, Deadlock was inevitable given Drift's beginnings in the Dead End. Hence why later in LL Ratchet seems to "blame himself" for how Drift became Deadlock, because Ratchet may believe that he should've "saved" or "fixed" Drift.

Then again, Ratchet knows the complexity of that, knows that it isn't "that simple" and that converting/ensuring Drift as an Autobot wasn't much better than having Drift become a Decepticon because, realistically, Autobots were doing things nearly just as bad. Of course, as the war went on it became clear that Megatron was going off the deep end and the Autobots truly did become the "Good Guys", if one could even call it that. Really, they were the lesser of two evils, or the arch-nemesis of the Decepticons that put a stop to their wrong-doings, but regardless, the Autobots themselves were far from innocent. Esp. from other civilizations/planets' perspectives.

When the Decepticons began, it was mainly in an effort to change Cybertronian society for the better, to gain equality for all Cybertronian mecha and get rid of the corrupt government and caste system, and I believe Ratchet (esp. seeing the corruption from the medical malpractice POV) low-key sided with them when this was their original goal. Drift/Deadlock is what makes Ratchet truly acknowledge this millennia after the war (either during the LL which it is hinted at or sometime before then during the war they may have had disagreements about this), but he'd known it deep down since the beginning.

Ratchet mostly went with the Autobots because of his own personal ties (friends like Orion Pax), his position in said hierarchy (he was the chief of medicine for descendants of the Prime and really, would Pit mecha really be accepting of the Senate's CMO in their ranks?), and as seen in the IDW comics, various other reasons.

In the end, Ratchet practically stumbled into becoming an Autobot. He really didn't want to be with any faction, but as an Autobot he believed he could do more good, esp. since he tended to end up helping both sides' soldiers anyways. Being an Autobot just meant he had access to better supplies/tech/etc.

I also personally believe Ratchet was too proud of a mech to admit this to Drift/Deadlock's face until the LL. Admitting that Ratchet was originally on the wrong side, helping the wrong side, this whole time would be a blow to his own mental, it would (and does) cripple him with guilt. Again, all of this is just my personal head cannons and fanon ideas that I've seen, but I like to imagine this is pretty generally accepted.

I feel like younger Ratchet is torn between sides. Having started clinics for the "lower class" mecha in areas like the Dead End, providing care free of charge to those who couldn't afford it as long as they promised to change themselves for the better, conveys to me that Ratchet was empathetic to the struggles of lower class mecha, despite starting off as a forged medic and becoming the Chief Medical Officer for the Senate. Yes, Ratchet started off and lived a comparatively privileged life, but he has never turned a blind eye to any other mech's struggles and does his best to understand it regardless. Ratchet's "golden spark" so-to-speak is something I believe Drift sees and cherishes, and thus it's what Deadlock wishes to protect. The Prime's doctor willingly decided to save the life of a drug addict grifter in the Dead-End and continued to see value in and, most importantly, care for Drift's life, even after Drift became Deadlock and turned to a life of killing mecha that Ratchet may have considered friends/allies/etc. I full-heartedly believe that Ratchet still looked after/patched up Deadlock even though he was with the 'Cons, esp. since I believe Deadlock kept watch after Ratchet even though he was with the 'Bots. Regardless of their conflicting morals, these two never stopped looking after and caring for one another.

I can see their "argument" or discussion over this proposal going so many ways, but ultimately, as with a certain Angel and Demon, Drift/Deadlock wanted them to become their own "side" and Ratchet, for a multitude of reasons (pride/empathy/guilt/loyalty/desire to help or "savior complex" depending how you see it/arrogance/etc.) decided to stick with the life he hates. He despises the war, the life-loss, the pain, the pointless-ness of it all (aren't they all Cybertronian in the end?), but Ratchet is an emotional mech deep-down and because of his complex feelings and morality, he turns down Deadlock's offer.

The Parallel:

As with a certain Angel, Ratchet can't just sit on the sidelines and do nothing, he has to help. As CMO and a close friend of Optimus, Ratchet is shown to have a lot of push/pull on Autobot command and their decisions and not always but often in various comics/shows/media, we see Ratchet propose the more compassionate and ethical, while still cruelly (realistically) logical, decisions.

Like Aziraphale, Ratchet believes that by being in a position of power/control/leadership and by being a determined son of a bitch, he can "save [their race/people/planet/universe/the balance/etc.]" for a lack of better terms. They put aside their own happiness/freedom/peace/etc., no matter the repercussions for them or those in their personal lives, to make the decisions and take the actions that they believe will do the universe, as a whole, the most good. That's really all they want.

Short Ver.

Aziraphale still believes that there can be good and that Heaven can be "fixed", and additionally, having Crowley back with him on Heaven's side would make *them* and everything else so much easier. Easier to protect Crowley, easier for Crowley to be happy because Aziraphale himself would also be safer, everything would be better if Aziraphale could "fix" things and the balance. Make Heaven "good" again and Hell "bad" once more, un-blur the lines, despite Crowley knowing it was never like that to begin with ("I think I understand a lot more than you do"). Additionally, all the trauma and manipulation that Aziraphale has experienced in Heaven no doubt plays a role in all of this.

Aziraphale only wants to do the right thing, but his headspace and how he decides to go about it are just so seriously warped by both himself and from his experiences of being an Archangel of Heaven.

Ratchet just wants the war to end. For the fighting to stop and there to be some peace. He still believes, despite everything he's witnessed and been through, that the war can end. He continues to hope. Ratchet, despite how gruff and jagged his exterior may become, no matter how cynical and pessimistic he acts, still has a spark of gold deep down. He still wants to do good and he believes that there can be good again, even though Deadlock knows that there was never any good to begin with. Why save Cybertronian society and the way things used to be if they were never any good before? Moreso, why save Cybertronians when they were never any good before? Shit's always been fucked up and messy, where does this bleeding hearted CMO get off in trying to save all of them?

He gets off nowhere but he's still going to try regardless because it's worth it. Cybertron, Cybertronians, mecha, are still worth saving. If Ratchet is anything, it is stubborn and after everything he's been through, he'll be damned if he gave up now.

Side Note: I still believe there was a miracle in Aziraphale's coffee ;) but in case there's not take this comparison I randomly drew from the S2 finale <3

[thotsupport]

ms heathcote turn on ur location i just wanna talk. i just wanna talk

im so fucking disappointed by the new episode. it was bad.... an episode of KILLING EVE!!! was bad !!!!! do u know how fucking awful that is.... how hard that is..... it has not had a single bad episode or even like bad MINUTE. 

rest is under a read more bc i have adhd and dont know how to explain my thoughts in less than 1000 words. this is a rant post ladies be warned of spoilers ig. its long 

ik everyone was worried about the writer change and we had a reason to be... this show walks such a thin line w its humor and all of its characters, esp eve and villanelle. so it was always going to be like, whoever gets put in charge of new seasons either gets it or they dont. but wow! wow huh

idek if i should be blaming ms heathcote, phoebe and emerald for leaving, or whoever signed off on this shit bc whew !! it sucked . that first minute of the wedding reception scene hit and u knew that things were off and this was rly not going to be what we hoped. they hyped us up for the wedding shit but it was absolutely pointless, when they couldve done SO MUCH w it. and that rly set the tone for the whole rest of the ep tbh

characters are ALL so out of character, stale as shit, and have basically been made into caricatures of themselves. the new characters that have been introduced have no substance. i think the most villanelle-like thing v did in the entire ep was pour the shop owner’s spice bag onto her face to mock dasha. and we’re really supposed to believe she thinks she killed eve? the top tier assassin we’ve watched for 2 seasons who kills people for a living? that  didnt sit well with me since the trailer, like it just feels unrealistic and contradictory as hell to their whole relationship. maybe we’re being faked out and she knew all along, which would be great !! but this first episode does not give me any hope for that bc it requires some decent writing

and now they kill kenny??? in the first fucking episode?? like ok maybe sean delaney said im signing out bye, which is like ok cool fine, so they had to write him out. but like THAT ? when he started hearing noises i went “if they kill kenny rn i dont think i can forgive them” LET ME HONK MY NOSE REAL QUICK. i sat there for like 5 min w my hand over my mouth. a cheap ass no build up death scene out of nowhere, just for shock value. is it crack? is that what you smoke? that entire sequence was so fucking bad. sloppy.... the predictability......my dvr cut off the last min so i had to look it up later, but what i imagined the ending was like ended up being right to a t, which is rly sad!!!. i do not write for this show! i should not be able to guess the end of the episode down to the song they use!! 

they tried to set his death up w whatever he was finding out online, but sis.........what a mess. and kenny was p much the only one from the first seasons they did a decent job of writing too 🙄

every interaction between characters, every character’s actions, the tone of every scene, the humor, the weird location cuts, rushed sequences, no build up or payoff to anything trying to be established...... mess. all of it fell flat.

anyway.... killing eve fell victim to change of writers combined w the classic ‘we already have a loyal established audience so we dont have to try as hard’ downhill slide. i hope the season gets a lot better from here but that first ep doesnt make me too hopeful. like am i going to keep watching no matter what? yes! i am a clown!! i want to see what happens. the cast will always be amazing. but let’s not pretend it was great

i probably sound harsh as hell but i do not care !! not a bit ! this show has been so fucking good and of course im going to be upset if it gets fucked up. miss 2020 rly came in and said we get nothing this year huh. not one crumb

[aschenink]

Wait what. Zelda fanfic??

Me, seeing this in my inbox: “my sins have caught up with me” 

I feel obligated to start this with the disclaimer that the reason I really started writing (ie actually committed to a project and started developing any inkling of skill) was so I could write unrealistic gay smut Zelda fanfic when I was 13. Also, I’ve got a Navi tattoo on my foot so I’d like to use this opportunity to just go ahead and declare the LoZ-trash throne for myself. 

So yeah! I’ve been quietly working on this gigantic Skyward Sword canon-divergence/post-canon story for a couple months now? I was at my parents’ house for spring break in March and on a whim set up the Wii to play SS, which was a weird experience since I hadn’t played it for several years and on loading it up was faced with the reminder that I’d named Link “Baby~” to get a kick out of Ghirahim saying it, and after all the cringing that invoked, I was drop-kicked by the reality that my memory’s not entirely faulty and Ghirahim–and honestly all of SS–really just Is Like That.

And once I got over that bout of cringing I realized Ghirahim actually still vibes with me and 13yo me knew what she wanted and was onto something; I simultaneously redeveloped my hatred for SS!Zelda and figured I should shove all of that into one fic, because, why not? And then the stars aligned and I didn’t sleep for three days because the fanfic writer in me had taken back over and punted me to 2012.

Anyway the concept for my fic is under the cut to spare innocent souls but unrelated takeaways: 

This fanfic is the only writing project I’ve literally ever had where I’ve sat down and been able to plot the entire thing in one go and have it make sense and I’m… still overwhelmed by that. 

I wrote 30k in 4 days because of this bad boy *slaps fic*

I love writing for Legend of Zelda. The fandom itself is very chill and that’s great but, imo, more importantly the characters are perfect to write for. There’s so little canon characterization (esp. for Link) that you’re really just given a few core concepts and get to run free with the characterization–canon is huge so there’s infinite space to run there and, simultaneously, the vague characterization makes it easy to transpose into AUs.

Skyward Sword spoilers under the cut but it’s 2019 sooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Okay secondary (& tertiary) disclaimer: it’s absolutely a GhiraLink fic because it’s what 13yo me would have wanted and it’s what current me wants too tbh but Ghirahim is out of character because… man, I love him, but his canon behaviors are just A Little Too Much for me and I’m incapable of recreating that (and unwilling to try). Imagine if Ghirahim was like… five years more mature. And looked like Matteo Martari. And had at least five brain cells. 

:’) I pretend I’m bigger than this but I’m not, and we should all know it. 

Anyway the premise is basically: What if Hylia wasn’t necessarily a benevolent goddess and Demise wasn’t necessarily a world-eating demon, and it was only portrayed this way to convince the bearer of the Triforce to side with her and keep the world under her influence? What if Link wasn’t necessarily destined to be the bearer and it was essentially a role up for grabs, one that Ghirahim desperately wants for himself? What if they’re equals? What if--

What if none of that is necessarily true either, but it’s what Ghirahim tells Link to further his own plans?

And it sort of goes on like that for a while. 

It’s super long and starts out with canon and follows the entire game with minimal divergence, with the exception that Ghirahim works with Link to temper Fi’s blade because Link is slow, Ghirahim can’t do it himself, and also it’s kind of fun for both Ghirahim and I to watch Link torment himself about having Friendly Feelings for his rival only for Ghirahim to stomp on his throat. Also, Ghirahim rather bluntly comes out and warns Link that he’s being used and Link, who’s reasonably resentful about how Hylia’s using him and his feelings for Zelda, sort of just goes

Alas, it’s not enough, Link is a Good BoyTM and Demise gets sealed away and Hylia wins, canon as usual. Except Link likes Ghirahim an embarrassing amount and Ghirahim manages to bind to him before Demise can completely crush him, which is great!

Because now we’re like 90k in the hole and finally getting somewhere!

Ghirahim’s in an absolutely horrid state after the battle with Demise and Link, after his own recovery period, is pretty desperate to get away from Hylia, so they (angstily) agree to do whatever it takes to repair Ghirahim, which is basically to temper him the way Fi was tempered but with demonic flames instead. The flames are in temples based off of Ocarina of Time’s Shadow Temple, and Twilight Princess’s Temple of Time & Snowpeak Top.

So they’re alone on the road together for months, and: Emotion! Angst! Saving each other’s lives! Several deadly sins, but especially lust! Slow reveal of Ghirahim’s Tragic BackstoryTM! Quicker reveal of Ghirahim bathing because emotionally I’ll forever be 13 years old and will never get over my desire for stupid flamboyant villains! Ghirahim reveals magic that doesn’t just throw kunais, like heating spells that require them to cuddle when it’s cold and they’re camping in the wild!

What. I already said I’m trash and not above anything. Cuddling is the fastest way to a hero’s heart and that’s the hill I’m dying on.

Oh. Important: I headcanon that Fi doesn’t actually have to physically manifest to speak with Link, and could just talk to him in his head--so now that Ghirahim is sword-bound to Link, he’s the one in Link’s head. That generally goes about as well as can be expected and is why Ghirahim is almost constantly physically manifested, because Hero Trauma has made Link’s head a MESS

Hylia also happens to be able to weasel into Link’s head, which is a source of Big Angst, bc Link has definitely caught feelings for one (1) stupid tall demon, and Ghirahim...

I mean, I said Ghirahim has five brain cells and at this point that’s more than even I have, so he’s got a plan that’s much bigger than what Link knows of. One way or another, he’s going to be one to pry that Triforce from Link, he’s going to be the one to live forever in a reincarnation loop, and he’s going to be the one who decides which way the world tilts in the grand scheme of things. 😈

I’m not posting it anywhere yet because honestly I’m an overwriter and self indulgent and frankly it’s a huge concept!!! I’m convinced this fic is gonna be at least 250k words so I don’t want to post it until it’s completely written bc the odds of me drafting half of it and then giving up are Very High. But like. I have so much fun with this project (currently titled En Passant, after the chess move, for, uh, symbolic purposes I guess), it’s super relaxing to work on in comparison to original fiction 😍 

If you’ve read this to the end I owe you my soul and I am so sorry for my nonsense.

[kitherondxle]

quoaad review there are only spoilers you’ve been warned

first of all i didn’t really like the book, i dont think it was bad per se i think it’s been a year and a half and a lot has changed in my life esp preference wise so i think the excitement was a little more gone than i realized

its weird because this book took a year and a half to complete, but it still felt rushed? unedited? there was repetition in some parts and some reveals were thrown in there so casually that it almost seemed as if edited in as an afterthought

i’ll use kit’s reveal as an example. jem told emma about kit at the start of the book yet emma literally did not think about it ONCE until the end. i’m not just saying this as a kit fan, she was in faerie and saw the whole royal drama and even at the mention of the true heir kit didn’t cross her mind? emma isn’t stupid how did she completely disregard all that? it felt unprofessional on cassie’s part

so. much. romance. oh my god. we get it ! people have sex ! listen i don’t really care about any of these pairings other than kitty and sizzy, maybe that’s why it bothered me, but i thought there are much larger things at stake and all the romantic drama was just annoying.. i’m sorry... i just didn’t care about any of it except for kit and ty but i’ll talk about that later. 

jace and clary... hunnies..... not your fault but i’m tired of reading about them and the epilogue has clary’s name again... she had her series, by now she apparently had all tmi/tda just for her and now another one? i’m tired of reading about her and jace felt dead this book other than the times he spoke to kit which i really appreciated actually. 

the end was so dramatic and a little underwhelming too. emma and julian turning into huge all destroying angels that shine gold? first of all, we’ve seen that before. second of all. it was dumb. im sorry. maybe im older and that’s why all of these themes bothered me but i felt like the whole plot was dumbed down which is upsetting cause tda’s set up was the most intricate out of all of cassie’s books so far 

kit and ty.... kit herondale saved the book for me and ty disappointed me although i kind of get where he’s coming from and his character is complex in more ways than one so i cannot as easily predict what he’ll do. i really hoped kitty would be an angst-free cassie clare ship but clearly that’s impossible and i’m so annoyed we have to wait another three years to see them interact after the horrible way they left off too... i’m just sad okay. they’re sweet. kit fucking yelled that he loves ty in his face... i get why he was upset after but i just wish they’d talk........ idk if ty has the mindset to really like kit back which is the only reason i kind of forgive him but when kit disappeared and ty didn’t even react and didn’t ask about him in the next scene? it just felt ooc... disappointing. 

KIT HERONDALE. i love you. that’s all i’ll say about you for now. he’s the only pov i looked forward too and ngl the only pov i was reading instead of skimming by the end of the book. he’s the best character cassie’s ever created and i will love him forever. can’t wait to see how he’ll grow up with tessa and jem i have really high hopes for him and his powers are too much fun. a little op but .... if it’s kit i forgive him for anything i love him THAT much. 

also povs... sooooo manyyyyy fuckingggg povs!!!! i dont think i actually read one diego chapter im sorry like i just DONT CARE!!! helen povs are valid though. lesbians always win. 

overall... haven’t even rated the book yet because i wanted to love it soooo bad i promise.. but it just. ugh. it was disappointing. it felt rushed even though cassie had a year and a half to write it and really really underwhelming. i think part of the reason i lost so much patience was the million povs and the constant romance and all the fucking !! maybe its because her previous books were so pg but it felt out of place and unnecessary.. im not against sex in books but here it was like every pov at one point. relax. or skip it. give me more kit chapters instead. 

few more things:

i love ash, so excited for more of him, his dru fixation is a little annoying to me though because it seems too love at first sight but im curious to see where it’ll lead. 

helen and aline, i love you two!!!!! GO GO LESBIANS ! 

idk why i expected more from diana’s reveal... it felt like the kit reveal earlier. just thrown in there because cassie suddenly remembered she should include it

livia... it was too sad seeing her. the whole thule or whatever that place is called im sorry it was interesting? but kind of ..? idk it just felt really awkwardly described especially ash??????? wasn’t ash in their world????? how is he also so involved in thule?????? julian and emma landing on the beach and conveniently the whole army is there????? it just felt badly written

i dont care abt the tmi characters im sorry except simon and izzy bc we barely see them but the rest slkdfjkdsfj i get they’re the foundation of cassie’s whole shadowhunter world but i’m much more interested in the current characters

the kieran/cristina/mark situation.... felt zero chemistry there and i really didn’t like it but glad polyamory getting representation but sighs. more reason for cassie to write sex. 

julian.. my anti-hero........ you had so much potential 

kit herondale. once again thank you for saving this book. i love you forever

im still excited for the next series but i’m just a little upset right now. i was really looking forward to this and i spent most of the book annoyed. sighs. i’ll still read her other books because a) daddy will herondale b) i have high hopes for kitty

the end

thank you for reading i love u all

please let me know thoughts whether you disagree or not

id actually love for people to give me reasons to love this book bc i really really wish i did

(also didn’t reread this cause its so long im sorry if there are mistakes/some parts dont make sense)

[dillydedalus]

what i read in march

several antigones & some other stuff

call me zebra, azareen van der vliet oloomi

oh boy. i really wanted to like this one, but uh. nah. so this book is about zebra, a young iranian-american from a lineage of ‘autodidacts, anarchists and atheists’, still traumatised by her childhood experience as a refugee (incl. her mother’s death on route). when her father dies years later, zebra decides to retrace the route of her exile thru barcelona, turkey, and back to iran. this sounds great! the beginning is good! but zebra is a quixotic figure (don quixote is unsubtly flagged as THE intertext several times), delusional about her own importance, obsessed with some kind of great literary mission and obnoxious & condescending & egotistic as all fuck (she looks down on students but treats her realisation that like, intertextuality is a thing, as this grand revelation when like..... we been knew since Lit. Theory 101) - and this is intentional & part of the quixotic thing & in general i approve of abrasive & bristly & difficult female characters BUT i expected there to be a gradual process of realisation where she sees that a) maybe her entirely male lineage of geniuses ain’t all that, c) her mission is uh.... incomprehensible. instead, once she reaches spain, she gets bogged down in endless pretentious bullshit and a #toxic relationship that takes up way too much space. knowing that all of that is likely intentional doesn’t.... make it good. also the writing is pretty overwrought for the most part & not even your narrator’s voice being Like That excuses plain bad writing, like the  absurd overuse of ‘intone’ and ‘pose’ as dialogue tags. i see the potential and i see the point & i liked some of it but uh. not good. 2/5, regretfully, generously

in the distance, hernan diaz

i don’t really go for westerns or man vs wilderness stories but damn i’m impressed. despite the violence & deprivation and sheer amount of gross shit, this story of a swedish immigrant getting lost in the american west for decades remains at its core so human, so tender, so sad (honestly this book is SO SAD, yet sometimes oddly hopeful), so evocative of isolation, loneliness, and the desire for human connection. 4/5

notes on a thesis, tiphaine rivière (tr. from french)

god, if i ever considered doing a phd i sure don’t anymore. this is a short graphic novel about a young woman’s descent into academic hell while writing her dissertation about labyrinths in kafka. it’s funny, the art is expressive and fanciful, and it is incredibly relateable if you’ve ever tried to actually write your brilliant, glorious, intricately constructed argument down, battled uni administration or had a panic attack over how to phrase a harmless email to a prof. Academia: Not Even Once. 3.5/5

red mars, kim stanley robinson

this is a very long hard sci-fi novel about mars colonisation & terraforming, discussing the ethics of terraforming, the potentials of a truly ‘martian’ culture, and how capitalism will inevitably fuck everything up, including outer space. all of this is up my alley and i did really like the first half (early colonisation efforts), but the 2nd half (beginning of terraforming, lots of politicking) was a slog - i liked reading about how terraforming was going, but the rest was just bloated, scattered and confusing. also there’s a tedious love triangle the whole time. 2/5

dragon keeper (rain wild chronicles #1), robin hobb

i love robin hobb she really can write a whole 500+ page book of set-up, characterisation and politicking and make it WORK. anyway, this has disabled dragons, a quest for mystical city, lots of rain wilds weirdness, a dragon scholar in an unhappy marriage, liveships, a sweet dummy romance, and uh... a lil penpalship between two messenger bird keepers? not much happens but it’s so NICE & so much is going to happen. also althea & brashen & malta turned up & i screamed. 3.5/5

season of migration to the north, tayeb salih (tr. from arabic)

this is a seminal work of post-colonial arabic literature, a haunting tale of the impact of colonialisation, especially of cultural hegemony in the education system, the disturbing dynamics of orientalism and sex, and village life in a modernising post-colonial sudan. it’s important, it’s well-written, it’ll make you think, but fair warning, there is a lot of violence against women - it has a point but still uh... wow. 3.5/5

dune, frank herbert

SOMETIMES.... BOOKS THAT ARE CONSIDERED MASTERWORKS OF THEIR GENRE.... ARE WORSE. so much worse. the writing in this is atrocious (”his voice was charged with unspeakable adjectives”), herbert somehow manages to make court intrigue and plotting UNBELIEVABLY DULL and sure, it was the 60s, but i’m p sure people knew imperialism was bad in the 60s! the main character, the eugenically-engineered chosen one or whatever, literally spends years among the oppressed & resisting natives of a planet ruled by a space!empire and at the end he’s like ‘i own this planet bc imperialism is Good Actually’. emotionally neglecting/abusing your wife, who you (!!!) decided (!!!) to marry for political reasons bc you’d rather marry your gf is also Good Actually (cosigned by the protag’s mother....) the worldbuilding is influential for the genre, sure w/e, but mainly notable for there just.... being a lot of it, the whole mythology-science makes No Goddamn Sense, all around this is just Bad. Bad. 0.5/5 i hope the Really Big Worms eat everyone 

dragon haven (rain wild chronicles #2), robin hobb

this healed my soul after toxic exposure to dune. anyway w/o spoilers: everyone is very much In Their Feelings (including me) and there’s a lot of Romance and Internal Conflict and Feelings Drama and Complicated Relationships and Group Dynamics and also dragons, which are really like very big, very haughty cats who can speak, and a flood and a living river barge with a mind of his own (love u tarman!). it’s still slow and languid but so so good. also: several people in this have to be told that People Are Gay, Steven, including Sedric, who is himself Gay People. 4/5

an unkindness of ghosts, solomon rivers

super interesting scifi story set on a generation ship with a radically stratified society in which the predominantly black lowerdeckers are oppressed and exploited by the predominantly white upperdeckers, mixed in with a lot of Gender Stuff (the lowerdeckers seem to have a much less stable and binary gender system than the upperdeckers) and neuroatypicality. it’s conceptually rich and full of potential, but just doesn’t quite stick the landing when it comes to the plot. 3/5

sanatorium under the sign of the hourglass, bruno schulz (tr. from polish)

more dreamy surreal short stories (ish?). i didn’t like this collection quite as much as the amazing street of crocodiles, but they are still really good, even tho you never quite know what is going on. featuring flights of birds, people turning into insects, thoughts about seasons and time, fireman pupae stuck in the chimney, and the continuing weird fixation on adela the maid. 3.5/5

angela merkel ist hitlers tocher, christian alt & christian schiffer

a fun & accessible guide to conspiracy theories, focusing on the current situation in germany and the current boom in conspiracy theories, but also including some historical notes. i wish it had been a bit less fun & flippant and more in-depth and detailed bc it really is quite shallow at points, but oh well. also yes the title does indeed translate to ‘angela merkel is hitler’s daughter’ so. yes. 2.5/5

the midwich cuckoos, john wyndham

fun lil scifi story in which almost all women in sleepy village midwich are suddenly pregnant, all at the same time. the resulting children, predictably, are strange, creepy, and possibly a threat to humanity. i get that it was written in the 50s but it is strange to read a book where almost all women, and only women, are affected by A Thing, but all the main characters are men & no one tells the women ‘hey we think it’s xenogenesis’ -  like realistically 80% of women affected went to the Neighbourhood Lady Who Takes Care of These Things like ‘hello, one (1) abortion please’ and the plot just ended there. i still liked it tho! 3/5

antigone project

antigone, the original bitch, by sophocles (tr. by fagles)

god antigone really is That Bitch. that’s all i have to say. 4.5/5

antigone, That Bitch but in french, jean anouilh

the Nazi-occupied france antigone. loved the meta commentary on what tragedy is and how antigone has to step into the Role of Antigone, which will kill her “but there’s nothing she can do. her name is antigone and she will have to play her part through to the end”. i didn’t really like (esp. given the ~historical context) the choice to make creon much more sympathetic, trying to save antigone’s life from the beginning. hmm. 3.5/5

antigonick, anne carson

look, antigone really is That Bitch and you know what? so is anne carson. best thing i’ve read so far this year, don’t ask me about it or i’ll yell the task of the translator of antigone at you. 5/5

home fire, kamila shamsie

honestly i really wanted to like this bc politically it’s on point and an anti-islamophobia antigone sounds amazing, but it just doesn’t succeed as a book/adaption. it spends way too much time in build-up/backstory (the play’s plot only starts in the second half of the book!), waaayyy to much time on the weirdly fetishistic antigone/haimon romance, and even the most interesting characters (ismene & creon) don’t fully work out. sad. 2/5

currently reading: the magic mountain by thomas mann, but i should be done in a week or so! also: the paper menagerie by ken liu, a collection of sff short stories

[tamgerines]

KH3 First Impression and Complete Thoughts

BACKGROUND: i've played kh1, com, kh2, bbs, 2.8, and a bit of khux. i've watched coded and 3d on yt, so i know the story relatively well. this is an impression of my first playthrough. i did my run on standard mode and watched the secret ending on yt. i mostly did this for story, so this will have my initial impressions based on my run that will not cover extra content like the phone mini games and cooking.  my opinions are subjected to change if i ever do any later playthroughs. pls, feel free to disagree w/ me.

!!! WARNING: THERE WILL BE A LOT OF STORY SPOILERS!!!

AUDIO: 

Music: utada is queen!!! that opening song!!! also i kept noticing how lit the songs are in each world esp frozen???  and aqua's. worth a replay just for the soundtrack alone.

Voice Acting: everyone sounded great for the most part. sora’s va have certainly improved and sounds less strained. his vanitas voice has suffered significantly though lolololol. i think i read that someone called it a wannabe dark knight voice? the organization sounded incredible, w/ my fav being xemnas, marluxia, and larxene. the disney and pixar va’s are incredible w/ my fav probably being randall in monster’s inc. 

some ppl did not get vas like xaldin and laxeaus. and phil in hercules. which were all very disappointing bc in the scenes that they were in, they would just stand around woodenly, and it’s very noticeable. 

VISUALS: 

mostly a+. environments are beautiful. water and frost textures are amazing!!! you can really feel that waterga and blizzaga. fur textures in monster's inc. could use some work. little details like the sails moving in potc rly make the worlds come alive. this could be a me prob, but environments in certain worlds make it very hard to see map markers, treasure chests, and disney emblems (which are supposed to be hard to find, but still). mostly in tangled.

strangely enough, this is the only game where i prefer in game graphics to cgi. it's already highly expressive and there's something creepy and uncanny about the cgi esp in the final fight. and it's mostly bc sora's thin chapped lips throughout the entire game suddenly becomes full.

DESIGNS: 

i don't love everyone's outfit or sora's outfit changes in this game besides toy story. this is something i alrdy knew going in, but i've always felt like the outfits in kh1 and 2 rly suited each of the character's personalities. and this is not just destiny trio but even chars like roxas, the twilight town kids and the hollow bastion crew. the move towards a uniformed look makes no sense to me like is it to unify the key bearers as one force against the organization? i could understand why destiny trio was wearing plaid but why the twilight town kids also? by the end of the game, almost everyone was wearing black and it's just boring to me. like there's a right way to do uniform while retaining characters' individual looks, and that's the wayfinder trio in bbs. in this game, not so much.

an aside, but i'm sort of disappointed in the hud moving to 3d too. the 2d portraits have always been part of kh so it's kinda a bum to see it go away.

i don't love the lvl designs but it might also be due to a narrative and pacing issue that i'll expand on. any case, vertical maps are a challenge to figure out. i don't consider myself bad at directions but there are so many moments, esp in hercules and tangled where i would be like where the heck do i go next (and i have the map) only for me to look up and find a shotlock teleport point (and this isn't so much a thing that heightens the difficulty but a time waster).

lvls and bosses in previous kh games have always been known for their gimmicks and mechanics, but in this game particularly i found it to be more tedious? and this mostly applies to frozen: who the fuck designed frozen? who the fuck thought it's a good lvl design to have sora climb a mountain, get kick off it twice, and climb it again as good lvl design? who?

all the disney bosses started blending together for me bc they're literally all giant monsters and rly easy. i think the mistake here is the fact that the disney worlds are put back to back whereas in kh1/2/bbs you have the interruption of original worlds and an actually playable important parts to the main story, in this game all the important storyline in radiant garden are locked in cutscenes interspersed throughout the game between finishing disney worlds.

a lot of ppl might disagree w this, but i miss the cinematic reaction commands and limit attacks. we still have them but i find them to be on a much smaller scale in the form of drive finishers and situation commands, but i find them to be less imaginative in kh3 in order to be less """"disruptive""" to the gameplay. i've always found cinematics charming in previous games as a way to show sora interacting with his party members during combat. little things like beast putting a hand on sora's shoulder, aladdin leaning on him, or riku bumping his fist have a way of making the friendships he forms feel organic. outside of link commands/ summons, in this game, he........just throws a lot of ppl around or is thrown around?

GAMEPLAY:

already sort of went through parts of it in the previous section, but overall combat was smooth. i love how mobile sora is in this game. the improvement to his running speed and addition of all the mobile skills like dodge roll, super slide, flow motion, blizzard skating, etc. makes combat feel fast paced and juking so easy.

magic is super improved on ever since 2.8 and feels satisfying to use esp bc i feel like ur given a lot more mp now and with the ability to save the last of your mana for cure, it feels like you're not always budgeting your magic.

underwater combat was smoother than i expected.

it's a mistake putting almost all the commands on the triangle button. there's so much options you can do in combat and you'd mean to activate one thing, but then an attraction flow comes out and you just want to die. it gets a bit easier as i went on and got more used to the controls, but in general, i still think it's a mistake to not to have an ability or something to disable certain features like in kh2 fm.

gummy ships continue to be a thing. why. i don’t like how i have to turn the camera myself now ;;;. 

i'm not a speedrunner or anything, so i can't say too much else about fighting. the physical combos to me did feel like he was spinning a bit too much tho.

STORY: oh, fucking boy.

i'm not mad, i'm not disappointed, and i'm not even surprised. i already knew that post bbs, kh has already departed far from the franchise i loved as a kid and still today, at least story wise. but let's walk through it.

Disney Worlds: the disney worlds was literally a retelling of their movies. and unlike in kh2 and bbs, where visits to disney worlds were split into two parts, with the first part following the disney story and the second part being heavily tied to the main kh story and thus having original content, the disney worlds in kh3 only get one long visit. and the integration of kh into disney was just done so poorly. remember how kh villains used to kidnap princesses? remember how they used to actually conspire to take disney characters' hearts and turn them dark? remember, you know, when they were still evil and actually interfered with the worlds? in almost every world in kh3, an org member just comes says vague menacing things to sora, calls him stupid, and then leaves. yeah. and oh, maleficent and pete looks for a black box only to not find it, and leaves. AND THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.

the pixar worlds + bh6 were the only ones with any actual new content and they feel so fresh. i esp loveeeeeeeed toy story omg. the script was so good, funny, and heartwarming. the pixar consultants should have helped kh all the way tbh.

like previous games, there's an attempt for each disney world to thematically tie into the main kh story. in this game, it was as heavy handed as ever, probably even more so. 

Original Worlds: onto the meat of kh, the main story was rushed up until the end. you have a slew of disney worlds, then bam, they slam you with all the human bosses and the important story stuff. 

the ‘awakening’ of roxas, xion, and ventus were very rushed. you literally have one moment they’re no there then two seconds of white screen and all of a sudden they’re there. 

there’s a shit ton of shoehorned character redemption arcs: vexen, demyx, saix, eraqus, xehanort, xemnas, ansem. all were done either offscreen or by some miracle, they reached an epiphany after sora beat his keyblade into their heads. 

the only death scene that i actually liked, that a lot of ppl complained about, was vanitas bc yes, although i thought his character had so much potential, it was at least a consistent and sympathetic death. bless him, born a villain die a villain. same with xemnas bc i loved his last speech. 

xehanort was a shitty villain through and through. no one understood his motivation; it’s like nomura took a page from thanos’ guide of how to write villains, gave him some stupid ass goal to have a keyblade war to restart the world, and then just have him...get everything he wanted? his estranged friend comes back in ghost form for whatever reason and is just like ok we’re cool man even tho u took my student and indirectly murdered me and then gets taken up to heart heaven, like O K. and like what’s the most frustrating is that it’s implied they’re keeping him as a villain??? bc fucking ymx is like ooohh imma just go back to my own time via time travel. it’s too late for u sora hurdur. 

and the younger members of the organization, the ones that we do know were in khux. we don’t get to know how they became nobodies and they don’t get a redemption??? really???  

you can tell they tried, TRIED, hard to give everyone closure. and they miserably failed to close plot points. they actually opened more. who the fuck is the unnamed girl in lea and isa’s storyline? why the fuck did you mention her if you were going to play the pronoun game and not name her??? what the fuck was in the black box??? why are they looking for it when no one know what’s in it??? why the fuck was repliku inside of riku the whole fucking time??? why have org members be norted if they can still have agency and choose to betray xehanort??? why the fuck was BOTH sora and riku in different worlds in the secret ending????? ? ? ? 

and tho i’m very glad that wayfinder and sea salt trios get their happy ending, the destiny trio had their characters assassinated. kairi was teased to become an independent character of her own and fight alongside sora, only to get shafted to become a damsel in distress, again, literally replaced by xion in one of the last battles, AND referred to as ‘motivation’ for sora by xehanort lol. sora, the guy who’s always going my friends are my power, ONLY grieves about losing kairi, accrediting all of his strength ONLY TO HER. riku, who spent the first game desperately trying to get kairi’s heart back, and who protected her from saix in the second, suddenly doesn’t give a shit about her and is just there as sora’s moral support. it’s so frustrating that nomura has the audacity to say that this series is primarily about friendship and then pull this shit lol. it’s transparent. 

CONCLUSION: 

i think for me, the quintessential kh trilogy has always been kh1, com, and kh2. as far as i’m concerned, the story should have ended there for destiny trio. and it’s like nomura said, how he feels more sympathetic towards villains now, i think nomura’s ideas have outgrown his main character. 

sora’s journey worked in 1, com, and 2 because he had an overarching goal to find kairi and riku and return home. not everyone has to understand heartless vs. nobodies or dark vs. light but at least, anyone can understand the desperation of saving your friends. when that framework is taken away, sora’s goals and motivations become unclear; he’s a kid and has little reason to be caught up in xehanort’s plans, the keyblade war, or the organization’s agendas. and his failure to grow with the increasing complexity of the plot, to investigate for himself the bigger picture or even come into a similar realization of his own darkness/ balance like riku, makes him unfit; he’s a reactionary character instead of an active one. that’s why this game, being experienced from his point of view, felt mostly like a catch up to speed for sora and a set up to nomura’s next big thing instead of a genuine ending.  i honestly don’t think nomura knows what to do with him and with kingdom hearts anymore. 

kh3 is a game wrapped in nostalgia and promised something bigger than it could fulfill. and aside from better graphics and improved gameplay, the story wasn’t worth the wait. 

[firebirdsdaughter]

Onward!...

... To the O-T subs of Zi-O 21! Yay!

Also, fair warning, this will probably include spoilers for Ryuki. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet and doesn’t want anything spoiled.

In no order:

Still sad we didn’t get to see Geiz coming home. :(

Sworz and Herue’s family moment is still kinda sweet, despite them being who they are.

This, too, is Decade’s fault.

I LOVE THE ZI-OT3 INVESTIGATING!

Like I said in an earlier post today, I think I understand why it’s Ryuga and not Ryuki. Bc at the end of Ryuki, everything was reset and the events of the series never happened. Shinji didn’t just forget he was a Kamen Rider, he never was one in the first place. But just bc it didn’t happen doesn’t mean that somewhere, some place, the Mirror World ever went away completely. Maybe it somehow preserved Ryuga, and he’s just been hanging out, hiding in the new Shinji’s reflection? Waiting for something like this...

Poor Shinji. Given his reaction later, I’m wondering if he considers himself responsible--which raises my question of if he was actually trying to kill himself bc he thought that might stop the attacks, or if he was just so terrified he covered up everything and accidentally sealed himself in in a panic.

Hands, who thinks Kido is an idiot? ... Goddamnit, Ron.

I love the Zi-Ot3 having planning sessions, too.

Sou Okuno remains adorable and it is so unfair.

Like I said. Geiz is one of those people where if punching it doesn’t work, you just punch harder--and if you break your arm doing it? So be it.

He starts the sentence neutral, then switches to first person. Just... Decides it’s gonna be him. Bc he’s the soldier, and fighting with his life is the only thing he’s ever done.

Sougo clearly doesn’t quite understand the seriousness of the situation, clearly thinks they’re still brainstorming, (honestly don’t blame him--most people wouldn’t be expecting someone to actually be meaning to go through w/ that), but Tsukuyomi is clearly well aware of the fact that Geiz will absolutely do this, and she’s not happy.

Junichiro does the only acceptable impression of Kuro Woz ever.

WAS THE LEAF PILE MOVING IMPORTANT?

Shinji doesn’t just have no memory of it, he has double no memory of it! (that may have been a reference to that)

Kuro Woz begins to, well, Woz, and Sougo walks away. I LOVE THIS. Force the manipulative jerk to walk after you!

KWoz remains incapable of picking up on tacit cues. Seriously, dude, even I am clear on how uncomfortable Sougo is w/ this. And I am awful at tacit cues.

ELBOW HIM IN THE STOMACH SOUGO!

Okay... This seems a little more like they’re talking about something e don’t know about... But he’s still noting it might kill him, so my other comments do still hold. But other than some protectiveness that he’s in denial about, why does he think it has to be him? Did Shiro Woz do something? Was there more to that vision than we saw?

Well, maybe Tsukuyomi doesn’t know? She’s pretty against it.

The little face twitch after she reminds him Sougo didn’t like the idea either. I think he’s secretly touched Sougo cares, but too Tsundere to admit it.

No, we weren’t waiting. We just knew if we stood still for five minutes, you’d be somewhere in the scenery, creepily dropping eves.

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

I can never hear that the same again.

I am still extremely uncomfortable w/ this phrasing. I’ve seen people connecting it to PreCure, where it’s the villain’s goal? And while I don’t watch PreCure, I absolutely agree. That’s not a normal way of referring to a peaceful era. It’s suspicious. Makes me think that either time literally is stopped, or that it’s ‘peaceful’ bc it’s all controlled by the future Nooks or something.

My hope for this is that they make a third timeline, and the point of the story is that we forge our own destinies, and sometimes not knowing exactly what the future holds is a good thing. Not everything is predetermined, that freedom is more important than martially imposed ‘peace’--and that even if things are apparently doomed to end w/ you murdering half the world, there’s always something you can do to change things. In a world where a lot of young people are suffering under the exacting expectations of others (and this is not saying Japan specifically, this is a thing everywhere), I feel like that would be a great message for kids. Wow. Okay. Got a bit mushy there.

Hm... Honestly, this translation makes Geiz sound more suspicious of it than anything--though given the flashback, I do think that the ‘peace’ part sounds good to them. However... Well, I have some other things to say on this subject, but we can get to that lower down.

THAT’S NOT THE FACE OF A PERSON I TRUST.

Poor Shinji, he’s so scared! He’s gotta have been seeing his reflection be like ‘hey, you wanna go murder this guy right, I’m gonna do it!’ so much he can’t even bear to look at it... Oh, sweetie... Ron! Come get Shinji he’s making me cry!

Need I remind anyone that I hate Shiro Woz?

Not you, Keisuke, you’re an angel and I’m thrilled you’re here.

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Ahem. Okay, anyway. This is another reason why I’m confused as to whether or not Toei wants me to think Geiz is actually going to switch ‘sides’ or something or not. He jumps in to defend Shinji w/out a single hesitation, and I really think there’s meant to be parallels between this and his initial stance towards Sougo. Like, that one scene w/ the flashback to Goggles (WHO IN TIME IS GOGGLES THE DEAD PERSON?) seemed to be meant to indicate that he was starting to believe Shiro Woz--but here? It’s coming across as the opposite. WHICH IS IT TOEI?

I will continue to believe that they will not do that to my precious tsundere baby until they actually do. And when/if (please dear gods I hope it doesn’t) that happens... Tea and shirts? I’ll make cookies?

G T F O Shiro Woz. No one wants your approval at all, esp not Geiz.

No! Poor Shinji... Ron, come help Shinji! Ron! ... What’s that? Not until the special? But that’s in March! We’ll be in another arc by then! Goddamnit, Ron.

I’m making a dumb joke, I have no clue if Ren is gonna be back in the special. I would be excited if he was, though.

Don’t listen to him, Shinji. You Rider Kicked him in the face in another... Another... A timeline twice removed? Or maybe once? Maybe they just never altered the Ryuki timeline since it did that one it’s own?

Ah, sweet justice.

Can’t believe I’m cheering for this asshole. But I just really dislike Shiro Woz.

Okay, Heure, you jerking Shiro Woz around is valid, but that dig at Geiz was unnecessary.

Also, even though there’s (well, was?) a ‘justifiable’ reason for what Shiro Woz was doing, Geiz remains unhappy about it.

... Okay, why did we get a ‘gasp’ reaction from Shiro Woz to that? What exactly happened on your ‘Day of Ouma,’ you snake? Oh what am I saying. Like he’d give me a straight answer.

Goddamit, Geiz. DX

We knew you were gonna do this, though.

Sougo finally arrives, and actually understands that Geiz has no chill whatsoever and will absolutely do this shit.

But it seriously kinda does feel like Geiz’s mentality is ‘I’m a soldier, I have to be willing to fight to the death’ sort of thing. Or maybe even ‘I’m the soldier so I’m more expendable’ (which the angst part of me kinda wants to be something that comes up--‘I’m the fighter, I’m the one who dies’ sort of thing; and then the other two smack him for it).

I just love Geiz as the ‘protector’ part of the triangle. Like, I feel like he’s starting to fall into it? Like, willing to protect the other two w/ his life (not that they don’t all protect each other, but... Do you know what I mean?).

Friendship moments are hard for Geiz, but this is still a good one. He’s literally getting forced to face the fact that Sougo cares about him and doesn’t want him to kamikaze attack.

I love this, though. Before, we saw that Sougo was uncomfortable w/ the Zi-O II Ride Watch, and its implications for his future. But he’d rather use an item that may very well be either a step or even a lock into him becoming the Demon King he was so disturbed and upset by before, than let Geiz die. Might be bad news for the world, but...

Makes me wonder if there’s gonna be a ‘I won’t let you turn into Ouma Zi-O even if I die’ thing, except it’s not ‘fight you to the death’ thing and more ‘I’ll keep trying to keep you good even if it gets me killed/I have to sacrifice myself.’

Oh my god. Like if there’s a way to keep Sougo from becoming Ouma Zi-O (like, w/out killing him), but it was, like, fatal. Geiz would absolutely do it. Or try to. Hell, maybe even both him or Tsukuyomi. Or they’d both try to do it, but also try to protect each other from it... Like she tries to stun him so he can’t, and he tries to beat here there, or something... There I go.

THE TRIUMPHANT MUSIC! And you just know it’s gonna cut out. XD

My guess is that it failed bc Sougo was secretly doubting his future. Like, he’s wholeheartedly ready to use it bc he doesn’t want Geiz sacrificing himself, but he’s still scared it’ll turn him into Ouma Zi-O? And maybe he has to be confident in his abilities before it will work? Me make sense? Who would do that.

Well, one thing I’ll say for him. Another Ryuga is cool.

Okay, okay. Here’s the last thing, I swear. If they’re trying to imply that Geiz is gonna turn on Sougo... No one told Gaku before he voiced those two ‘Zi-O!’s. That sounded way too frightened and concerned for someone you’re starting to doubt.

I swear, I’ve heard that music somewhere...

I loved how everyone’s reactions to this sequence was literally ‘well, I assume they’re showing us everything is backwards, but I couldn’t read kanji to begin w/, so...’ ^^ XD

Wow, nice on the signs O-T! How much harder was it to do the subtitles backwards?

Mirror¡Sougo is bouncy like bunny!

Mirror¡Sougo tries to be creepy, but regular Sougo doesn’t even register it. This kid would be both a joy and a risk in a horror situation.

I love the way Sougo dodges the ‘eye blocks’ when Mirror¡Sougo transforms, and Mirror¡Sougo hits one back w/ his sword when Sougo transforms... It’s cool.

Preview: Oh, yeah. Geiz dies next week. Now where’s my new favourite picture... XD I will love it if there’s a situation where Sougo is able to see out of the Mirror World and sees what’s happening. I mean, Another Ryuga can look out, why not Sougo? Maybe that’ll be what finally seals the deal on him actually using the Watch?

See, this ‘opening’ ‘creating ‘cutting open’ the future stuff rings to me like the goal is that thing I mentioned above. About choosing one’s own destiny, no matter hat tries to shape you.

Anyway, I like the Zi-O II suit. Excited for ep 22. ^^

That’s all, folks! (wonder how long it’ll be before I get sued for that XD). Virtual red velvet cupcakes for anyone who read all of that. And if you don’t like those, then... Well, pick your favourite flavour! ^^ And if you don’t like cupcakes, then pick a sweet you do like.

Anyway, I’m having a good time and enjoying this. I love the Zi-Ot3, in case that wasn’t clear, and atm I’m looking forward to 22. Of course, things could always turn out... Unfortunately, but I still have tea and shirts on standby.

... Now I want read velvet cupcakes again...

(If you count the number of bolded words in this post, you get a hardy handshake!)

[dongsooks]

Getting drunk with EXO

Y’all don’t let this flop

I am writing this with @wooseook (aka the funniest person alive made me piss my pants a few times before) and we actually did research on this. Enjoy. (Not all the members had something said about their drinking behaviour)

Okay so warning: We will discuss alcohol and drunk behaviour in this. If you are not comfortable then do not read!

Xiuxiu baby face

He might not look like it

but boi be drinking

once he does get drunk

you better hide

esp if you have pissed him off in the last 27 years

at first he is just clingy and cuddly

and yeah you can deal with this

I guess you’d be drunk too

if not lord beware I feel you

and you think it is too nice to be true

it is

he would get out his imaginary notebook and start listing every single time he has felt the slightest bit petty at you

like that one time a year and three months ago you drank from his cup while you had a cold

and he insisted he is cool about it back then

spoiler:

he wasn’t

tells you in detail how you made him feel with your dirty cough mouth and dramatically describes how he saw your lips moving to the cup in slomo knowing he would have to get a new cup of water oh the 30 sec way to the kitchen

and you’d think one time is bad enough

but no he would tell you 87390240847 times

all while still leaning his head against your shoulder 

“See I did think I was okay with it, but the more I thought about it the madder I got”

Suhoney bunny CERTAINLY NOT SUMONEY BC NON OFF YALL GONNA SEE A PENNY OF HIS MONEY ANYWAY OMG STEP BACK FROM MY ULT U BICHZZZZZZ lol

He has two moods

at first he is like

“I’m going to take it slow tonight. No more than one beer for sure”

Mood two hits him two hours before the drinking starts and he walks in with two IKEA bags of alcohol 

He will wadle into the room

“Okay y’all. Pants down we’re gonna get lit tonight!”

what a cool mom ew

starts at 8 pm stops at 8 am 

gets too friendly

will help you with everything you never wanted help with

AT SOME POINT

you will find him with someone gossiping in the kitchen about a certain cold...*cough, cough* haha get it?

will remind people about long forgotten fights and open wounds

unintentionally ends about 3 out of every 10 friendships existing at the party 

even if he knew no one before the party he will leave knowing everyone and their problems

“Are you really over that one time everyone congratulated you 11 minutes late?”

Yixing pls come back we all love and miss you sm u r my fave china boi

took a sip freom Minseoks drink and was wasted

wants to have piggyback rides

and cuddles 

and kisses

and hugs

wants it all

gets red as hecckkkkk

“Are you hot Yixing?”

“Yes”

*takes his shirt off*

ends up stripping on the table while Baek, Chan and Chen cheer

crying at the club

lillrlly

when he gets compliments

he gets super emotional

chokes up while thanking you

like you could say he has nice shoes and he would cry most likely order them for you and forget

is an airhead

would pronouce half the things he says wrong

is back in Korea for a week, can’t speak Korean

would facetime and call everyone

“Wait Jackson is Chinese isn’t he? JUNMYEON GIVE ME YOUR PHONE”

Chopsticks are keys- boy

took a shot because Sehun dared him too

is lightweight #2

becomes the cuddliest person on earth

he is gay sober but his gay intensifies when he is drunk

*puts hands on everyone’s thighs*

would ask you the oddest questions with the most innocent, genuine look on his face

“How do girls know what their cup size is? Is there a magic trick? Do they guess?”

“Isn’t gicing birth a little painful? Cause like the hole is like.. a pea and the

There’s a rollercoaster of emotions and he doesn’t get off the ride 

“Am I really a lightweight?”

“omg no Baekhyun stop crying”

“DON’T LIE TO ME Y/N!”

*5 mins later*

“Hey wanna shower with me very platonically?”

WaaaaaaaAAEEeeeeeeeeeeeee

can drink quite a lot

has two phases 

first he is hype

and i mean H Y P E

he will jump around 

will take pillows and throw them aggressively and then smile like a toddler who was given a treat

is a loud person as it is

but drunk he will scream 

will sing along to songs so loud glasses break

Random high notes for no reason

will get someone to strip 

Says things that have absolutely nothing to do with the conversation he is part of

*conversating about what foods everyone is craving*

“I do want children some day!”

At someone you will have to nail his ass down because he might feel young and fresh

but his body doesn’t

and the second you sit down with him he will lay down, put his head on your lap and fall asleep within like 5 seconds

“No, no, no I don’t wanna go home and sleep I wanna PARTEYYYYY”

Chanyoli ravioli, give me the formuoli

It takes a few drinks to get him drunk

no one really notices when but eventually he is lit the fuck the fuck

pulls out Gucci sunglasses from god knows where and has them on the entire night

forgets he is wearing them and yells at people to find out who has them

winks at himself when walking by a mirror

would swear

would only swear

picks up people while yelling “YEET”

will forget how to walk eventually

starts stumbling backwards

and all the members run towards him fearing for their lives

and he just screams 

“TIMBER”

Kyungfu

So he drinks quietly 

for the first while everyone looks at him to make sure he is still there

then he suddenly isn’t

you will find him in the kitchen 

with a cup of tea he made at some point

earphones in

and he will slowly turn to you with a smile on his lips

jamming

“All my friends are dead, push me to the edge”

and you just back off slowly

“NO WAIT IT’S THIS COOL NEW SONG!”

runs after you but gets distracted because he sees Sehun walk by

“Do you like me?”

And Sehun shrugs his shoulders “Yeah, think so”

“cool thx ily”

Kai

Gets drunk fairly quick

Is really quiet for the most part

sits alone in some corner sometimes you hear him laugh not sure about what

and at some point he will just sit there, no expression

and you will have to ask what’s wrong 

and he looks up at you with teary puppy eyes 

“Wanna play hide and seek?”

and you agree bc no way you’re saying no to him!

But then EVERYONE starts playing hide and seek

Baekhyun suggests to someone to go hide in the shower with a locked door, no clothes and the water running

Sehun eventually falls 

everything escalates

Minseok writes it down in his imaginary notepad

and you notice the culprit is gone

and everyone is like HEY WHERE ON EARTH IS OUR LITTLE PRECIOUS JONGIN??

he walks in a few seconds later with two buckets of chicken

bc he remembered the convo with Chen where they talked about cravings

smiling happily

“Oh and btw Junmom I used your card”

The sassy one 

thinks he can drink a lot

really can’t

can’t walk to save his life

giggles a lot

will hold onto people 

but deny he need it to not fall

is the first member to give into Baek’s request to shower

will open the door after they enter and even if no one is around he will sassily say “not gay” 

does the gayest stuff and says “No homo” but winks while saying it so kinda homo?!?!

at some point he stands next to Chan

arms around each others shoulder

having a little down, both trying to stand, not puke 

and then some girl song comes on, let’s say Pick Me

and with their deepest, manliest voice they start screaming singing along

will stumble and fall about 9 times

gets petty over EVERTHING

and remember how Suho reminded him of the 11 minutes

he will go to every member and look them dead in the eye

“Do you know what my favourite number is?”

“Idk 7?”

“Well, I don’t know either but it is not 11 because someone felt the need to open my wounds, I am sensitive! DO NOT TALK TO ME BUT YOU BETTER HAVE AN EXCUSE ONCE I LET YOU!”

[corystssides]

What you missed on the Insta Live video last night (Warning, spoilers!)

This is long so I’m dropping a “read more”

-Official name spelling is “Virgil”

-Joan swearing almost immediately, then swearing bc they swore

-There will likely be a Q&A video on the making of the Sanders Sides videos in the future

-Joan has cowritten every Sanders Sides vlog since the Valentines Day one

-”When’s the latest we stayed up? 6 am?” “Yeah.” get some r e s t

-”You can’t stew an umbrella...that’s the end of that.” “And that, of course, is a metaphor for life!”

-Possible Halloween video with costumes, held in Anxiety’s room???

-Joan and Talyn consulted on having panic attacks, because while he has come close, Thomas has never had a full on panic attack

-Anxiety’s room scene was supposed to be a representation of an oncoming panic attack (esp. near the end)

-They used actual eyeshadow this time, rather than just smudging eyeliner below Thomas’s eyes. Talyn did the makeup.

-They always film Anxiety last

-Several people pointed out that Anxiety’s name reveal paralleled a coming out story, which Thomas and Joan said was unintentional but they were glad that they did that scene justice.

-logos/ethos/pathos theory confirmed, BUT they felt that neither Prince nor Anxiety really fit ethos (but if it was going to be one of them, Joan says it would have been Prince)

-Prince is stated to represent Thomas’s ego, femininity, and hopes/dreams

-They gave them names so they wouldn’t be so boxed in by their introductory traits (”after all, liking puppies isn’t ‘Morality’”)

-Pathos + Paternity = Patton’s name

-One idea at the beginning was that both Patton and Anxiety were going to be Pathos, and Patton would be positive Pathos and Anxiety would be negative Pathos, and their names were going to be Patton and Payten.

-Another name they considered was Vincent, because it kind of sounds like vigilant and also because of the horror actor Vincent Price

-Their naming scheme is mostly phonetic, so the names sound like something resembling their traits, but they also consider etymology a bit

-Logan was the first and easiest to name

-Roman was named for Romantic--both the era and for romance

-They alluded to Anxiety’s name Virgil by having him talking about writing poetry in past videos (I’d write an angsty sonnet...if I cared)

-Joan has 2 pitbulls

-”Thomas, adopt us all!” “I wish I was able to have the responsibility--and the space!”

-”Others” confirmed, but no specifics given. All of the sides know of the “Others,” and it “might say something” that the four sides won’t talk about them.

-Joan’s favorite musical is Chicago, Thomas’s is Into the Woods

-Thomas thinks the Squip from BMC is creepy, he doesn’t like it and wouldn’t ever want to play its part

-Thomas thinks JD is an interesting character, but that a lot of people romanticize him when he shouldn’t be romanticized (”he is a bad guy”)

-Thomas watches reaction videos to his own videos

-Joan loves In the Heights, both love 21 Chump St

-Cue gushing about Lin Manuel Miranda and Anthony Ramos

-Thomas is not a triple threat because he’s not good at dancing

-Thomas’s favorite BMC song is “Michael in the Bathroom”

-Potentially there will be something about Hogwarts Houses in the future, but they needed to finish the redemption arc first, “and some other stuff.”

-”Some of the stuff’s gonna get wild,” according to Joan

-Also possibly a nails/hair/makeup video in the future

-Thomas’s starter Pokemon is Bulbasaur, Joan’s favorite Pokemon is Richu (spelling??)

-Joan’s favorite Disney movie is Moana

-Dodie gushing (”my twitter account is 50% me 50% a Dodie fan account”)

-Thomas wants to do a “Good Morning” from Singing in the Rain collab with Dodie

-Thomas calls Dodie and Ben J Pierce “musicians--with instruments”

-Most of Thomas’s friends are Ravenclaws, but Leo is a Gryffindor and Jay is a Slytherin

-gushing about Hogwarts, houses, and the Puffs musical

-”your face is just blessed” says Thomas to Joan

-they’re such sappy friends it’s beautiful

-Thomas has fallen asleep on the couch several times bc of this video instead of going to actual bed 

-Thomas loves Little Miss Sunshine

-Thomas cannot grow facial hair, only patchy neck hair. Cue neckbeard jokes from Joan and a discussion about not stereotyping people.

-”Captain Neckbeard, the most feared pirate!”

-”We have another video to film, and we need some sleep”

-End

[pandora-twists]

Ofcourse anon ^^ Brace yourself as I only need a reason to ramble XD

Rai really is too reserved. I remember having a few conversations on tumbler at the start of this arc on how Rai looking out for the children was more out of duty than care, as opposed to Frankenstein. Because he shows so little emotions its really hard to guess. Let me see if i can find any again: Here is some of it. But now this far in current arc, esp after 444, its clear he values his children much more than I thought. Rai has just been so desperate, and cute this arc trying to save M21, I really grew to admire their relationship.

For Rai, I think even before the first moment he had actually interacted with M-21, he has already had his heart softened towards him. Can we forget the Frankenstein would have killed M-21 if it wasn’t for Rai? One of the reason for this instant consideration is that, back then, M21 and M24 were the first modified he had come across (after Frankenstein), and their pitiful abandoned existence that didn’t really have a home anywhere, neither human, nor Nobles nor any other species would accept them, saddened him greatly. After them, there was so many modified one after the other the novelty wore off lol.

And then, the more he came to realize M21s trauma and just how damaged he truly is, the more he started caring for him. All very gradually, and quietly. While we saw Frankenstein’s care and each moment outwardly, with Rai it happened inwardly enough to even ignore if one isn’t looking carefully. Then M21 had stepped in to protect him from the Elders is definitely one of the highlight of M21s interaction with Rai, and it genuinely warmed his heart. He hasn’t have this kind of individual interaction with any of their other child. Rai has come to defend him by words more than once too, one when he was beating himself over KSA, and one when he asked for Mark’s awakening, and there may have been others. Then Franky and him actually discussed his mental/emotional health before deciding that they should get his comrades name from Crombel. All this has been a privilege not bestowed upon any other child, partly because they don’t need it.

The whole Mark saga infact, raised Rai’s worry for him 200% I think, by now, M21 is Rai’s favorite kid hands down imo. He also seems to remind him of Frankenstein in his unruly days, a much milder Frankenstein so there’s that plus point.

Frankenstein/M21 had always been one of my most favorite parts of Noblesse. Frankenstein started getting soft towards M21 very early on like Rai. The first moment where he noticed that hey this kid is not bad, was when M-21 had called him to warn him about Jake and Mary in S1, and Frankenstein was like,isn't it a bit too kind of you to tell me everything in detail? This was when he gave them the safe house address to hide if they want.

The scene after M24s death, when M-21 had told them causally how all of the 100 M series died on him. The first time i read this scene I thought Franky expressions were him evaluating if this guy is telling the truth or not. Now I think he was like what poor kid. Master we have managed to pick up a really unfortunate puppy. Rai was clearly hurting for M21 far back then too. But saving the kids in DA-5 arc was definitely what sealed his worth in Frankenstein eyes. He would not have blamed him if he had chosen otherwise I’m sure, it was a very tough situation M21 was in, but he exceeded his expectations there.

Also spoiler alert ahead if you aren't upto date with the canon unreleased chapter.

I was quite disappointed with the fact that it was RK5, not Frankenstein or Rai who saved him from the crazy Green werewolf. I'd been musing so many ways he could be saved this arc by either one of them the entire last year and hugged to death and what not. Then came RK 5 to take all the glory. I've now grown to like this development for various reason now, but it took a couple weeks to come to terms with  -_-

M-21s is a cute lil baby. He should be allowed to talk however he likes XD Frankenstein and Rai knows he needs this freedom to acquire some measure of self-worth and value. So yes, they let him. M-21 genuinely tries hard to be respectful to Frankenstein too. Most of the times he has been blunt or rude were extreme circumstances, like when he snapped him out of darkspear influence during Frank/Rajak, or when he was arguing about Mark authenticity or letting him awaken. M21 will dare not disrespect Frankenstein deliberately, Franky’s too scary for that.

Also I think atleast initially, M-21, not Tao, was meant to be the one who can be upfront with Frankenstein and snap him out of a moment of weaknesses, but this particular relationship point hasn't really been used again after Rajaks fight as far as I can remember. Maybe when/if its Frankenstein's arc with his old student Tasume then it will be utilized again. I'd very much like to see it again.

And M-21 is their first child. Ofcourse he is special ^^ Okay its probably my bias speaking too, but M-21 is hands down the most troublesome of their kids. 4th and 5th arcs issues are direct results of his actions, Rai even has to go to sleep in 5th due to his comrade’s saga, so yeah they are well aware that this child needs extra attention. Plus there's the fact that M-21 is the most traumatized of their kids and arguably has suffered the worst in life (can we deny that he still gets the worst of all, like how many times has he been stabbed by now?) Which means that they are hands down the most worried about him = more blankets to wrap him in = more protection = more space in their worried minds and hearts ^^

Though every child has their own special place too, Seira is probably Frankenstein's favorite due to her helping him in household work and bc of how obedient she is. Tao is Frank 2, so he is obviously special. Takeo and Regis are the most normal of them, and as such the most easily to be ignored by Frankenstein, unfortunately or fortunately for them.

I do not think Rai knows anymore about his heart other than that it is of a werewolf. If he knew anymore, he would have revealed to Frankenstein atleast by now. Though, it could be that its Ashleens and Rai will eventually figure it out… even in this arc, dare we hope.

I would LOVE if Crombel does something like this. Infact, before this arc I was very sure this is exactly what’s going to happen triggering the start of the end of Crombel and M21s comrades name or heart owners saga. But then came this arc, and this kidnapping of M-21 had been so heavy and long, and pretty much everything he didn’t want to happen has happened with him already as a hostage, which lessens the chances of another kidnapping.

Then again, children have been kidnapped some 3-4 times now? by comparison M21 is only at his 2nd yet. So maybe he'll get taken once more before the end? It’ll be hard to summon that much worry by household this time and M21 will feel like shit for getting abducted yet again, so I don’t know how authors will manage to make it fresh. Crombel has been a villain since the start though, he needs to live upto his hype in any case so he better do something for once.

Also anon I don't know if you’re into fan fictions, but there are some really good ones who explore some nice Crombel/M21 in such setting. Over the top of my head there's these 3 where Crombel takes him back. if you hadn't read them yet, I'm sure you'll really enjoy these and i'll provide more food for thought:

I am Tao

Would You Kindly

3600

 And please barge in whenever you like. I love talking about Noblesse ^^

[alo-piss-trancy]

(fire emoji) p5

Okay I have quite a few unpopular opinions I’d like to get off my chest so here we go (keep in mind these are p much just personal preferences so don’t feel bad if you actually like the things I’m about to rag on lmao)

Also I apologize if these show up in the actual tags I don’t want to put slashes in all of these names and ships RIP

!!!WARNING FOR BIG GAME SPOILERS!!!

1. Akechi/Akira is my least fav p5 ship and ngl I feel burning disgust 98% of the time I see it. Both characters are interesting on their own and I love the similarities and contrasts between them (I live for those perfect protag/antag foils), and I do really like those bits where they could ALMOST be close friends but then it gets fucked up mmm. I also like 1 of them pining for the other on occasion (or in Akechi’s case, possibly going past that into obsessive lust) but the other has no interest in anything deeper. But I can’t see them in love at all, especially in content that sticks to canon since there’s so many time constraints and scenarios that would prevent them from having the opportunity to actually form a true relationship.

But also putting all that aside it mostly bothers me because the entire pairing just REEKS of the completely overdone “These two rivals are opposites and boys so they HAVE TO BE secretly in love and super gay for each other” kinda thing that used to be (coughstilliscough) all over the place in other fandoms. Like, I guess potentially in the right hands it could be done well and actually develop the relationship between them, but I really just despise that type of ship in 98% of fandoms and nearly any time I see Akechi/Akira content it seems pretty forced and is clearly wish fulfillment/desperate craving for gay representation.

RIP I know that sounds harsh as hell, I really don’t know how to word my feelings on it in a more coherent manner so this is the best I can explain it? People can ship whatever they want ofc and if I ever spot good content or it has smth I like (like omo fics) I’m down to read it, but it’s definitely a ship I usually try to avoid simply because I’m sick and tired of seeing it EVERYWHERE (and there’s so many other people Akira is canonically closer to/much more likely to fall in love with)

2. In a similar vein, Akira/Yusuke gets on my nerves almost as much as the above. I just don’t see much chemistry between them so it seems a bit forced, but also it’s kind of a personal bias because I just. I don’t like Yusuke. He irritates me so much he somehow pushed all my buttons when I first met him and I ignored him FOR MY ENTIRE GAME and gave him shitty coffee and if Akechi and Mishima hadn’t made me even angrier I probably would call him my least fav character in the game. That said, I’m going to try hanging out with him more than twice and actually USE HIM IN MY PARTY in my ng+ so maybe I’ll learn to warm up to him. And despite my distaste I will admit his lines are some of THE FUCKING FUNNIEST (esp his bits in Mementos jfc)

Also Akira/Ryuji irritates me too bc I also get real tired of the ‘bffs fall in love trope’ and I think they each have ppl that fit them better, but in some instances it can be really cute or kinda deep so I enjoy looking at it on occasion. I’m mostly just tired of it drowning the tags when I’m looking for other Akira pairings lmao

3. Sadayo Kawakami isn’t that great and idk why ppl hail her as one of the best girls. I actually liked her a lot when she first appeared in the game but once you start her social link and get into all the other shit I just got really bored and annoyed with her? I don’t know why because while I didn’t finish it (I got to 7 or 8 I think but then the late game plot dragged me into madness so I couldn’t find time to meet her anymore) I got to one of the big plot points in her arc and it was sad that it happened but…I was already so irritated by all of her lying and she was starting to rub me the wrong way bc despite her being 'kind’ it seemed like any dialogue I picked even when it helped her brought some snark or just obnoxious moping from her so I just kinda. Stopped giving a shit about her. I’ll max her in NG+ this time so I can see the end and hopefully I’ll feel more for her since I know most of what happened but I don’t think she’ll ever be as important to me as The Squad Girls or Tae or Hifumi.

As a character I still like her and there are certain plot aspects I really find interesting/deliciously angsty if expanded on, but I definitely wouldn’t say she’s waifu material lmao

4. Now for an actual game critique: I feel they definitely started off WAY too strong with the first palace/boss, so most of the future game (palace design/boss fights, not the plot the plot’s always top tier) seem kind of underwhelming by comparison. Like the entire way the plot progresses in Palace #1 is awesome when you’re brand new to the game/series and the boss is the perfect Holy Shit moment because, like, just look at that revolting mess, it’s super different from anything you saw before that point in the game and kinda scary to fight and it’s badass. But then a lot of the rest just doesn’t have the same shock or high stakes feeling to it or the palaces aren’t as interesting. Cool and creative bosses/neat palace ideas: #1, #4 (boss and 1 bit of plot, the palace itself got pretty repetitive to trudge through), #6 (amazing boss, loved the fighting arena bit and palace aesthetic, but hated trudging to collect shit just so Akechi could slide us through the plot), #8 (rad design, cool 1st boss, Yaldawhoever was kinda lame to fight tho bc it was a lot of the multi-bodypart stuff we’ve seen before)

Palaces that were repetitive/annoying most of the time/lame bosses: #2, #3 (THE W O R S T BOSS AND PALACE), #4, #5, #7